The Case of the Fruitcake
by Silver Sniper
Summary: Meg cooks a good old homemade meal that includes badly burned eggplants and green tomatoes. However, when a peice of her socalled 'fruitcake' ends up in Ryu's stomach, well... there's only one answer!
1. The Case of the Fruitcake

Tantei Gakuen Q © to… Amagi Seimaru and Satou Humiya… I think?

This story is a bit pointless, but good for those who just want a little laugh or shake their head as stupidity.

NOTE: WRITTEN WITH VERY LITTLE SPECIFIC SUPPOSRTING DETAIL.

* * *

"Done!" Meg exclaimed as she ripped off her apron and placed herself in the empty seat beside Kazuma and Ryu. "That didn't take as long as I thought!"

"Wow, Meg," Kinta began, poking his chopsticks at what _seemed_ to be badly burned eggplant," I didn't know that you could cook so… I didn't know you could cook!"

"Yeah!" Kyu added, suspiciously eyeing a plate of green tomatoes, "It looks…"

"Nauseating," Kazuma supplied. Meg huffed.

"Oh, you only say that because all you eat are those fancy foods they serve at your house! A nice homemade meal can be just as good!" Meg argued as she crossed her arms and waited for someone to test it out. No one really did anything.

"Hey, Kyu, you think any of this edible?" Kinta whispered to Kyu, whose eyes looked around for something that wasn't burned, which unfortunately, was the fruitcake.

"Uh…"

"Ryu!" Meg slashed through suddenly, cutting and shoving a piece of cake towards him. "Go on, try some!"

Ryu blinked and hesitated for a minute, but didn't have much of a choice as Meg shoved half the piece in his mouth.

"Hey, Kazuma, will he get poisoned or something?" Kinta asked, rather concerned. Kazuma sighed.

"With Meg's cooking, who knows?"

* * *

Five Minutes Later…

* * *

"My stomach doesn't feel very good," Ryu declared as he clasped a hand to his mouth, and the other to his stomach. Meg gasped and immediately began fretting.

"Oh, Ryu! Are you alright?" she asked in a panicked voice. Kazuma, Kinta, and Kyu looked at them with interest.

"I… What did you put in that cake?" Ryu inquired weakly. Meg bit her lip.

"F-Fruits…" she answered softly. Kyu, Kinta and Kazuma eyed her queerly.

"We'll be uh, right back!" Kyu said as he, Kazuma, and Kinta shot off to the kitchen.

* * *

Five MORE Minutes Later…

* * *

"Okay," Kyu began as everyone once again sat around the table. Ryu was still clutching his mouth and stomach, and looked dreadfully pale. "There are three hints!"

Everyone groaned. Kyu ALWAYS just HAD to put it that way.

"They are one: the fruitcake, two: Ryu's sudden upset stomach, and three: an excess amount of tomato and corn unwanted parts in the trashcan! There is only one answer!"

Kyu went towards the fruitcake, and cut out another slice, putting it in front of everyone so they could see. "As you can see, Meg put fruits into this cake."

"Duh," Kinta sighed.

"Yeah, corn, tomatoes, pineapple, oranges, it's all here," Kazuma noted.

"Hey! I thought tomatoes and corn were vegetables!" Kinta exclaimed. He went to the bathroom instead of 'investigating' with Kyu and Kazuma.

"And that culprit is… you! Meg!" Kyu went on dramatically. Meg was clearly ticked off.

"Well excuse me for using fruits!" Meg huffed as he whacked away Kyu's hand, which was rudely pointing straight at her.

"Well, now at least I can rest knowing I wasn't really poisoned…" Ryu mumbled. Why he swallowed, who knows? Maybe just out of politeness, or even curiosity. The taste must have been horrid though.

"Poisoned? POISONED? You guys thought this stuff was _poison_!" Meg demanded as everyone suddenly shrank.

"Well, it _clearly_ looked that way," Kazuma defended.

"Uh, hey, Meg, don't be angry!" Kinta told her. Meg just 'hmphed' and turned away.

"Wow, must be her period…" Kyu deducted.

And that was that, the three boy's last statement before the door slammed in their faces. Ryu? Well, someone was nice enough to call 1-1-9. (Japan's emergency number for the ambulance and fire.)

And that was that. The case of the inedible fruitcake was solved!

* * *

Yes, I know it isn't likely you'd get sick enough to have to go to the hospital from a fruitcake made with tomatoes, corn, pineapples and oranges, but just pretend, okay? Well, so concludes another idiotic piece. I hope you guys enjoyed! 


	2. The Cookie Epic

It was fun writing the first one, so… here's what happened a week after.

* * *

"Yes! You guys will surely love this!" Meg exclaimed happily as she literally dumped a fourth of a bottle of oil into the pan. Last time the gang was together to have a meal was when Ryu just 'suddenly' fell ill. Of course, Meg just HAD to invite them back to repay them for what happened last time… with lunch. 

"Hehehe…" Kyu laughed nervously as he looked around the room for a possible exit. There was none. He, Ryu, Kinta, and Kazuma were stuck in the room for good. Just _perfect_.

"Meg, what are you baking?" Ryu asked, eyeing the pan as Meg made clumps of what seemed to be a white doughy chunk with black spots, and it wasn't chocolate chips or resins. He still hadn't forgotten what happened last week. Bad thoughts.

"Oh, just some cookies for dessert!" she exclaimed happily as she dug a head of cabbage from the fridge, ripped some leaves off, and placed the clumps on the cabbage before plopping them into the oil soaked pan. Kazuma, Kinta, and Kyu gulped while Ryu quickly excused himself to the bathroom. They had a sneaking suspicion that the cookies were NOT going to taste well. I mean really, who wants fried cabbage cookies with a hint of… moles in it? Well, no one as far as anyone was concerned.

"O…K…" Kazuma said slowly as he whipped out his trusty laptop and began calculating how long each of them will have to spend in bed if said 'cookies' were eaten. It came out to five days and about nine hours. Kazuma sighed. Not very good results.

"Hey! Um, why don't we just go out for lunch?" Kinta suggested, also trying to avoid the cookies.

"Yeah!" Kyu agreed. "We could split the bill!"

"I think it's a good idea!" Kazuma chimed in.

"No," Meg answered, striking down the three boy's high hopes for operation 'avoid cookies'. "Ryu got sick last time because of me, but this time-"

"He may possibly get sicker?" Kyu suggested.

"He may possibly… die?" Kinta thought.

"I may have to pay for his hospital bill _again_?" Kazuma asked. It was true that while Ryu could have easily paid it himself, but unfortunately his family wanted to be left in the shadows.

"-he will have the pleasure of eating _my_ famous recipe!" Meg told them off as she went back to baking. They just gave up. At least it was _Ryu_ eating the cookies.

* * *

Thirty Minutes Later…

* * *

"Alright guys! Come get the treats!" Meg called happily. No one came. "Oh, come on!" 

Stomping out of the kitchen with a freshly made batch of fried cabbage cookies with moles, Meg proceeded to the living room, where the boys immediately stiffened up at the sight of the 'treats'.

"Don't worry, Ryu, you have our deepest regrets," Kyu told him with a solemn face.

"Yeah, we'll safely get you to the hospital," Kinta assured him, giving him a pat of the shoulder.

"And I'll pay for your hospital bill again, buddy," Kazuma said, nodding his head. Meg just looked at the four, who seemed like best friends giving their final farewells before she frowned and came charging over.

"Alright! Who wants one?" Meg asked. They all shook their heads. Meg turned to Ryu, who out of characterly (if that's a word) flinched. "Ryu?"

"Uh… I think I-I better…" Ryu stuttered, not looking at Meg. No, he wasn't madly crazy in love and was trying to hide a blush from her, he was just madly scared and nervous that if he were facing her she'd be able to stuff a cookie down his throat.

"It's okay, Ryu," Meg said tenderly. "I know you have a very delicate stomach and my cooking just isn't great enough for it yet!" Solemn looks from the other three boys were quickly replaced with smug grins and snickers.

"Delicate… stomach…?" Ryu repeated slowly , his mind momentarily pausing as he tried to imagine why Meg said that. The other three just laughed harder at his moment of confusion.

Meg just huffed and ignored him as she turned to Kazuma, who quickly stopped laughing. "Well, Kazuma?"

"Uh… why me? Kinta likes to eat!" he asked, running behind Kinta like a scared child. Kinta just sighed and took Kazuma by the cover and shoved him front again. If he hadn't, he'd probably be the next victim.

"Because all you ever eat are those fancy meals cooked at your place by some professional chefs! It's time to get a load of home baked!" Meg scolded as she grabbed a cookie and shoved it into Kazuma's mouth.

* * *

Five Minutes Later…

* * *

"Duh… Idunwanna… uh?" Kazuma said incoherently as everyone stared, worried about the eleven-year-old that was now swaying side-to-side and slurring together syllables. 

"Kazuma?" Ryu tried as Kazuma took a wrong step and tripped over himself, only to end up giggling. No really, _giggling_. "Meg?"

"Uh… I… um…" Meg tried, unable to comprehend as to why Kazuma was acting so weird. She found no answer.

"Well, this calls for… an investigation!" Kyu exclaimed. "Kazuma's all yours, Meg!"

"We'll be right back," Kinta assured her as he, Ryu, and Kyu dashed off.

* * *

Five More Minutes Later...

* * *

"Okay," Kyu begun as the gang gathered together in the middle of Meg's living room. Kazuma was still… shuffling around and tripping. Poor guy. "There are three hints!" 

"Yeah, we know," Meg said, simply because they ALL knew Kyu was going to say that.

"The first: the strange scent of the cookies, two: Kazuma shuffling around and speaking weird, and three: the empty blue sake bottle in the trashcan. There is only one answer!"

"Sake?" Meg exclaimed. "I thought I used the blue vinegar- oops…"

"_Vinegar_? You were going to bake cookies with _vinegar_? But put in _sake_ instead?" Ryu inquired as Meg blushed from embarrassment at her own dreadful mistake. I don't know how her memory could have done that to her, but it did, or at least pretend it did!

"Meg, you are the-"

"We already know, Kyu," Meg, Kinta, and Ryu chorused before turning their attention back to Kazuma, who apparently fainted.

"Ouch… poor guy… so young and he's probably going to know how a hangover feels like… but from a cookie? That's a new one!" Kinta sighed before scooping him up and dumping him on the couch. Ryu reached for the phone while Kyu went over to check on Kazuma. Meg just sat there alone, wondering: am I THAT bad at cooking?

* * *

That's that! 


	3. A Smoothie Tale

Here's the next installment!

* * *

Meg sighed as she flipped through her sister's cookbook. Her cake was a failure, so were her cookies, so this time she thought she'd make something not concerning baking or frying, or whatever. Hmm… Now what _could_ she make that was easy, not concerning all that heating? Why of course! She'd made fruit smoothies! Without the little known fruits like corn and tomatoes of course! Meg learned from her mistakes, even though Ryu paid dearly that time. Oh well!

"Ha! Now they won't have anything on me for being a bad cook once this is done!" Meg smiled happily as she felt around for the sugar can, uncapped it and literally dumped all of it into the blender.

"And a little bit of this…" she muttered. "And that… and some of these… and BLEND!"

Twenty Minutes Later…

"Kyu!" she called as she banged on his door. "Kyu, are you there?" Meg sighed as she realized that there was absolutely no one in the house. And her fruit smoothie was getting warmer by the minute!

"Maybe he's at school," she thought as she dashed off to DDS.

* * *

Ten Minutes Later

* * *

"Dan-sensei, have you seen Kyu and the others?" Meg asked as she found her teacher in the library, looking at a book.

"I believe they went to see Kazuma. They said he got drunk," Dan sighed. "Kids these days, getting drunk at a young age. I'm sure you wouldn't have encouraged it, Meg."

"Hahahaha… yeah," Meg laughed nervously. _I hope no one tells him it was entirely my fault that Kazuma was drunk…_ "I mean, I would _never_ have allowed it if I were there."

"I know. You're a good person, Meg. What's that?" he asked, pointing to the pitcher of puce green… glob that Meg held along with some plastic cups. "Did you make that?"

"Hmm? Oh! This? Just something I whipped up!" Meg said happily. "Would you like some of my fruit smoothie?"

"I-"

"Here you go, Dan-sensei!" Meg cheered as she held the cup out to her teacher, but unfortunately (or should we say fortunately), both of Dan's hands were full of books.

"Um, sorry Meg, my hands are full, perhaps another time," he apologized politely before engrossing himself in a book that he didn't even like. Meg would of course, have none of that.

"Oh! Go on, Dan-sensei! Just a sip!" She pestered. "Please?" she begged as she _accidentally _shoved it down her teacher's throat.

* * *

Five Minutes Later at the Entrance of DDS

* * *

"Ugh… I will _scream_ if I hear 'Meg' and 'breakfast', 'lunch', or 'dinner' in the same sentence," Kazuma wailed. The time at the hospital had been painful, especially when he woke up. It must have been the worst morning of his life. They had the WORST food, the WORST service, the WORST bed, and they didn't even allow his computer in! Thank goodness when Ryu, Kinta and Kyu came to pick him up. His parents? Some… conference.

"Well, what about this?" Kyu offered with a smug smile. "Hey you know Meg? Want to go over to her house for lunch?"

"Not funny…" Kazuma grumbled. What Kyu had just said was two sentences.

"Hey, is that the ambulance?" Ryu inquired pointing at the flashing lights.

"Yeah…" Kinta agreed. "And isn't that Dan-sensei and… Meg?"

"Her cooking…" they all sighed as they went over for a closer look.

* * *

Near the Ambulance

* * *

"Meg! What happened?" Ryu asked, though he WELL knew what happened. Something she cooked up again.

"Is he going to _die_?" Kazuma gasped sarcastically. Meg just scowled.

"Wow Meg, you really did it this time!" Kinta grinned.

Meg just sighed as she turned to Kyu. We ALL know what he was going to spurt out.

"This calls for… AN INVESTIGATION!" Kyu cried, dramatically posing. Everyone just sighed.

* * *

Five Minutes Later…

* * *

"There are three hints!" Kyu cried dramatically. Need we mention that everyone knew he was going to say that? "They are one: Dan-Sensei's sudden sickness, two: the smell of smoothie, and three: the strange leftovers in Meg's trashcan! THERE IS ONLY ONE ANSWER!"

"One: is it me, or does it always seem that one of the three 'hints' are always linked to a person? Two: is it me, or does it seem that it's always linked to the food also? And three: it's ALWAYS linked to the trashcan, isn't it? And how did you manage to get to my house, check the trashcan, and get back in five minutes?" Meg demanded. Kyu just sort of faltered a bit, mind searching for an answer.

"Uh… that's… anyhow! You did it!" Kyu finished not so smoothly, pointing at Meg. Everyone sighed.

* * *

Hopefully the next one's going to be longer. 


	4. A Sushi Story

I hope you guys enjoy this one also, you guys are the best! I'm not sure if Meg really is a good/bad cook. Like I said, my observation skills are a little off. Lol.

* * *

It had been a month since Dan-Sensei's 'accident' and everyone more or less had put Meg's cooking behind. Well, of course, Meg didn't. She still couldn't believe why she was not a good cook. Her mother and sister were wonderful, making the best Japanese cuisine and sushi anyone could ever imagine.

So why couldn't she!

Meg decided to confront her mother for help.

"Mother, would you show me how to make some sushi?" Meg asked.

"Sure. It's very easy, just put in some rice wrapped in seaweed and top it off with some fish," her mother told her, not even looking up from her book.

"Thanks mom!"

* * *

Thirty Minutes Later…

* * *

Meg laughed happily as she pulled some seaweed from the salty ocean. "Wow, with these, the sushi must come out great, it has such a nice and purplish tone!" Tossing it in the basket, Meg proceeded to get fish.

* * *

Ten Minutes Later...

* * *

"Okay, let's see… here it is!" Meg watched the fish swim around in there own little tank for a second before going off to find someone to help her. She found one quite fast.

"Excuse me, may I have about six of those goldfishes in that tank?" she asked sweetly as the attendant bagged them and handed it to her. Meg had all the ingredients she needed! Rice was no problem because she had that at home! YAY!

* * *

An Hour Later…

* * *

"Wow, for once, Meg, they don't really look… toxic!" Kinta remarked, fiddling with a sushi in his hand. _But what's with the purple and orange stuff?_

Meg smiled, though she did falter at bit at the toxic part.

"Well, Ryu and I are not touching those," Kazuma clarified, Ryu slowly nodded his head in agreement.

"It's okay! Kinta and Kyu will try them, _right_?" Meg said sternly. Kinta just nodded with a goofed-up smile that clearly said 'Meg is an evil sadistic witch'. Kyu just smiled sheepishly and didn't do anything. At least he could dish out more of his lines!

"Well of course you will!" Meg exclaimed, deciding for them as she handed Kinta a sushi.

"Uh, Meg, I really shouldn't be-"

"EAT IT!" she demanded and like Kazuma, stuffed it into his mouth without second thought.

"Uh… I'll go call the hospital…" Ryu excused himself as he dashed for a phone the moment he saw Kinta start turning white, then green, then blue, then a lot more random colors.

"I'll-" Kazuma began, but was cut off by Kyu.

"GO INVESTIGATE!"

"Uh, sure…"

* * *

Ten Minutes Later…

* * *

"There are three hints!" Kyu, once again, dramatically announced. The others just sighed like always.

"Yeah, yeah… I thought I actually got it this time…" Meg whimpered, staring helplessly at her sushi.

"One: the remnants of bones and excess seaweed in Meg's trashcan, two: the strange, or should I say fishy, hahaha, joke there, (Meg: And we are so not laughing…) smell of the sushi, and three, Kinta's weird behavior right now. THERE IS ONLY ONE ANSWER!"

Everyone graoned, save Kinta who was sputtering random words that sounded awfully like curses. Kyu's lines, in their opinions, were so cliché, even though Ryu did admit he occasionally used them just for kicks.

"I am the culprit, I know, but still want to know how you went to check on my trashcan in ten minutes time," Meg sighed, bonking Kyu on the head like Kinta would have had if he weren't throwing up.

"Uh… th-that…"

"Meg, may I ask what you put in there?" Ryu questioned.

"Yeah, I want to know too." Kazuma agreed. Meg bit her bottom lip, but nonetheless answered.

"Um, seaweed, fish, and rice?"

"A bit more specific?" Kazuma suggested.

"Uh, seaweed I pulled from the ocean, goldfish I bought at the store, an rice from my house?" Meg tried. The two sane people looked at her with there jaw dangling. "Um, I wasn't suppose to do that?"

"You got seaweed directly from the _ocean_!" Ryu gaped.

"You use _gold_fishes!" Kazuma sighed, slapping his forehead with his palm.

"Um, that's right, I wasn't suppose to, was I?" Meg laughed nervously.

"MEG! YOU ARE THE CULPRIT!"

Silence…

"Kyu, we know, we know," Meg, Ryu, and Kazuma chorused. Kyu was just plain dejected.

_Oh, why can't I cook ANYTHING right!_


	5. Ice Cream Adventures

I'm not sure how many chapters I'll be doing, but all will turn out for the best I hope. Sorry for the long update wait. I had a lot of tests at school.

* * *

While Meg sulked about supposedly poisoning Kinta, Kyu, Ryu, and Kazuma were madly whispering among themselves.

"Hey, she's really sad, isn't she?" Ryu asked worriedly, taking a short glance at the sniffling girl curled up in a ball.

"Well, if you just intoxicated three of your friends and one teacher with your cooking, wouldn't you be sad too?" Kyu asked.

"I don't cook, I get my servants to do it," smirked Kazuma. Ryu shrugged.

"I don't really cook either. Someone else always did it for me before."

"You know, I don't cook either, mom always did it…" Kyu murmured.

Silence…

"So, what do we do?" Ryu asked, gesturing towards Meg. "Shouldn't we, well… cheer her up?"

"Yeah, you can go over there and work your charm," Kazuma snickered as Ryu gave him a confused look. Kyu just sort of… did nothing. Just stood there looking oblivious.

"Charm?" Ryu asked, confused.

"Never mind," Kazuma sighed.

More silence… and then Meg came over.

"H-hi guys…" she sniffled. "I'm really sorry about all this!"

"No, it's okay! We're just fine!" the three answered, though we all know it was a big huge lie. Meg didn't seem to catch that.

"Thanks… I feel like I should treat you guys to lunch or something," she smiled weakly while Kyu, Ryu, and Kazuma's minds went: DANGER ALERT! DANGER ALERT! DANGER ALERT!

"Uh, well, actually, the three of us just had lunch at Kazuma's house, so we're not really hungry," Kyu told her. The other two, catching on, quickly nodded their heads.

"Well… at least come over for ice cream!" Meg asked.

"Is it homemade?" Ryu inquired. Meg shook her head.

"Yup, my mom made it two days ago. She's a really good cook." she clarified, and since the trio didn't actually have lunch, a little something to fill them wouldn't be so bad, right? After all, they can't get sick from some ice cream Meg's mother made two days ago, could they?

"Well, okay…" Kazuma agreed.

* * *

Twenty Minutes Later…

* * *

"Ta-dah!" Meg announced as she placed a piece of what seemed to be cow manure with a big yellowish glob on top. "Mom's a great cook isn't she? She even let me help her with it!"

Kyu, Kazuma, and Ryu's brain once again flashed: DANGER ALERT! DANGER ALERT! DANGER ALERT!

"H-help?" Kyu stuttered, looking at the… thing in front of him.

"Uh, Meg, I'm not suppose to have anything that contains sugar because my uh… mother said so!" Kazuma explained.

"I'm sorry, but I can't ruin my teeth," Ryu said sadly, well, not really, but you get what I mean.

"And I, uh… just came back from the dentist, so I can't eat anything like that, sorry!"

Meg blinked a few times, and the three were sure she wasn't going to buy the stories they told her, but…

"Well, I understand, but if you guys don't mind, I'll try some!" she smiled happily. Kazuma went for his cell phone, the hospital's number already typed in and waiting to press the button…

Ten Minutes Later…

"Ugh… I think… I think I might have ate something that was bad…" Meg grumbled as she staggered towards the trashcan. Kyu and Ryu exchanged worried glances.

"You _think_?" Kazuma muttered as he speed-dialed the hospital.

"I'LL GO INVESTIGATE!" Kyu cheered and quickly dashed off as Ryu sighed and ran over to catch a fainted Meg.

* * *

A Minute Later…

* * *

"Ugh… I really should watch what I'm eating…" Meg sighed as she laid limp from pain on the couch.

"THERE…"

"…are three hints, we _know_, Kyu, we _know_," Kazuma told him in a 'you are stupid and I'm trying my best to explain this simple thing to you' tone. Ryu just meekly nodded.

"One is Meg's behavior, two is the smell, and three is the stuff in the trashcan, right?" Ryu 'guessed' as Kyu looked genuinely shocked.

"Wow! I knew you were sharp, Ryu, but wow! That's just amazing how you can just read my mind like that!" Kyu laughed.

"It is, isn't it?" Ryu sighed. Sarcasm intended of course.

"And the culprit is me, as always, right?" Meg graoned.

"Yup!"

Silence…

"Hey, I just realized something…" Kazuma mused. "Meg would've emptied the trashcan, or another of her family would have, right? So Kyu, how did you find the 'remnants'?"

"Easy!" Kyu replied. "I just searched through the bigger trashcan out there! After all, a good detective must know these things!"

Silence…

"Meg, what exactly did you put into the uh… ice cream?" Ryu asked, getting off of the pointless and stupid subject.

"Uh… well, it called for cream, and since I didn't have that, I thought butter would work, and I didn't have any sugar, so I used salt instead. I didn't have any cocoa either, so I thought tealeaves would be okay, and that yellow thing on top was some liquefied butter squash we had last week. Did I do something wrong?"

Silence…

"And your mother was where?" Kazuma asked.

"Oh… the one we made is in the freezer. I thought you guys would liked to have tried mine first…"

"Uh-huh…" the three nodded. Meg decided to stay silent for the sake of her upset stomach.

_Why? WHY can't I cook good!_


	6. The Return of the Fruitcake

Last chapter. Thanks to those who reviewed. Enjoy! Please excuse the appearance of Kyu Jr. I hope he doesn't annoy anyone.

* * *

Meg smiled with confidence as she heard the timer 'ding'. This time, it was bound to please someone.

"I hope the others like my new and improved fruit cake!"

* * *

An Hour Later…

* * *

"So, Meg, what did you call us all here for?" Ryu asked with interest. The whole Q class were assembled on a blanket somewhere in a field, along with Kyu's three-year-old cousin named Kyu Jr. that he was forced to baby-sit. As you probably know by now, I just made up Kyu's three-year-old cousin, Kyu Jr. so he doesn't really exist in the series. Anyhow…

"Well, I know a lot of you have gotten hurt by my cooking…" DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! Flashed in everyone save Kyu Jr.'s mind. "So that's why I made this! Ta-da! Presenting Meg's new and improved fruitcake!"

Everyone faltered as soon as she had revealed it. Sure, it looked normal enough, if not quite pretty, but everyone just knew that Meg would've probably added something she wasn't suppose to.

"Now, who would like to try it?" Meg said enthusiastically. No one answered. Well, Kyu Jr. tried to say yes, but Kyu immediately clasped a hand over his mouth in order to save his poor cousin from possibly dying.

Silence…

"Kyu? You're the only one who _hasn't_ eaten anything I made…" Meg mused as Kyu tensed up. Meg pretended not to notice as she whipped cut a knife and cut a generous slice for him. Kyu gulped while Kyu Jr. looked longingly at the cake.

"M-Meg, I-it's okay, I uh… just had lunch!" Kyu supplied, hoping against all hope that she would understand that. She didn't.

"Oh, come on Kyu! Open wide!" Meg teased as Kyu opened his mouth to protest, but instead found fruitcake in his jaws instead. Everyone gulped and prayed that Kyu would somehow survive through this without them having to pay for his hospital bill, or in the worst-case scenario, his funeral. Everybody held their breaths and awaited the fruitcake's results.

* * *

Five Minutes Later…

* * *

"Kyu!" Kyu Jr. gasped as he picked up a stick and started poking Kyu with it. "Kyu!"

"Meg, what was in that?" Kazuma asked, though he was pretty sure he didn't want to know. Kinta peered into the cake and noted that it was completely brown on the inside. He had never heard of a chocolate fruitcake, or was it even chocolate?

"I-"

"I'll go invest to gate!" Kyu Jr. yelled out suddenly. Everyone twitched as they turned to face the hyper three-year-old that just spurred out a line that sounded ever so familiar.

"Did he just say he'd go invest a gate? As in putting money in a gate making company or something?" Kazuma asked as the three sighed. Even when Kyu's down, his cousin certainly wasn't.

"No, I think it was investigate. Kid probably can't pronounce his I's," Kinta sighed.

"Oh well, let's see how he does…" Ryu murmured as the three-year-old dashed off.

* * *

Five Minutes Later…

* * *

"Dare are twee canues!" Kyu Jr. spurred out once again as everyone sweat dropped, save Kyu Sr. who looked like he was sort of having a seizure.

"Did he just say tree canoes?" Kazuma wondered with a raised eyebrow. Translator Kinta was already on the case.

"Nope, he said there are three clues!" Kinta announced. After realizing what he said, the others all sighed, also recognizing this sentence.

"What does Kyu teach that kid?" Ryu wondered ad Kyu Jr. stomped his foot and demanded attention.

"Da frost one is da stew range smell of da cake, set kind is da rim mints in Meg's rash can, and da surd is da can dish on of my a maze zing, won da full, and supper gin us, cuz in, Kyu!" Kyu Jr. said incoherently in three-year-old speech. It would seem that he was 't' rejected and a whole lot of other things.

"Kinta?" Meg asked, completely unaware of what the kid had just said, even though she was pretty sure what it was. If the kid was a Kyu copy, then he must of said…

"Uh, I think he said 'The first one is the strange smell of the cake, second is the remnants in Meg's trash can, and the third is the condition of my amazing, wonderful, genius cousin, Kyu!'" Kinta translated. Kyu Jr. stood there proudly, nodding as Kinta interpreted his speech.

"Dat's white! Dare is own lee one an swear!" Kyu Jr. said happily. Kazuma, Ryu, and Meg laughed nervously. None of them were familiar with toddlers.

"Did he just say 'swear'?" Ryu wondered.

"Nope! He said 'that's right'! There is only one answer!" Kinta offered. Everyone knew what was coming next, and by now, I think everyone reading this should too.

"Meg! New are da call prick!" Kyu Jr. announced dramatically, just like Kyu would have. Everyone sweat dropped again. They didn't even need Kinta to translate, because it so clearly said 'Meg! You are the culprit!'

"Hey, Kyu Jr.!" Meg called unhappily, clearly ticked off that a three-year-old Kyu copy was lecturing her. "How did you get into my trashcan in five minutes?"

"I dun snow! Kyu all waist said dose tings," Kyu Jr. shrugged.

"Meg, you never did tell us what was in that?" Ryu reminded her.

"Uh, well… I didn't have any cocoa to make it brown, so I thought I'd use vinegar instead. (The brownish kind, which are pretty popular in Asia I believe) I didn't have much fruit either besides Kiwi and watermelon, so I put some dried apricot pits in because I thought no one would want to each dry fruit… And I ran out of sugar again, so since ice cream was sweet, I decided to use some of that ice cream I am made last time," Meg finished as Ryu, Kazuma and Kinta looked at her like she was some sort of alien. "D-Did I do anything wrong?"

"Uh…" the three chorused while Kyu Jr. went back to poking a knocked out Kyu Sr. with a stick.

_Oh! Why? Why can't I cook anything right! Oh…_

So concludes Meg's horrible cooking disasters. Remember, as Kyu Jr. would say: "Read ember! Net her eat Meg's coo ding on less you not an ear e death!" which Kinta would translate into: "Remember! Never eat Meg's cooking unless you want an early death!"

* * *

Finally complete. Hope everyone enjoyed this! 


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